The Lord has shown me a lot in the past few weeks in regards to what it means to let go. I always have been extremely stubborn and while I have often said “I’m giving God control of my life,” I never really knew what I was committing to or what that really means. Since my acceptance to the San Diego Summer Project, my eyes have really been open to what letting go of control really means. Raising $3,200 in a matter of just a few months is no easy task, and I have been intimidated by those 4 numbers ever since I received my acceptance email. I wrote, lost, and re-wrote my support letter, awkwardly waited by the library printer for 100 copies, hand addressed each envelope, and prayed over each stack of letters as I dropped them into the mail box. As I was sending out my first group of letters, I stopped before placing them into the box to pray. I thought to myself how do I pray for a bunch of letters??
That was the moment when I realized that what little amount of control I had over this project was being place directly into God’s hands once I dropped those letters into the mailbox. I went into this adventure of raising support thinking that I would do it myself and just hope that God would be there helping me along. I now know that in order for me to get to San Diego, I have to let go of all the control and rest in the fact that Our Father is faithful and that He will provide. My prayers have changed from “God, help me do well raising this money,” to “God, you are faithful and I am confident in your promises to provide for me in all situations.”
“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about you life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single day to your life?” Matthew 6:25-27
To me, the part of these verses that stands out to me is that last verse “can any one of you by worrying add a single day to your life?” When I worry about whether or not I’ll make my goal, or if I’m going to be stressed getting a job, or anything of the sort, I’m only doing myself a disservice. I am giving over all my worries, doubts, and fears to God and all control of this project has been released from my hands. At this point, all I can do is pray pray pray and stay faithful.
Whether the Lord is convicting you to support me monetarily or prayerfully, I am absolutely grateful. You are all a part of this mission project. I have been blessed with knowing so many amazing people who love God with all their hearts, and I am elated that we are able to share this adventure together!
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